An hour away, but it feels like more

Well well well...estoy aqui en P___. Wohoo! I'm pretty happy actually. I get seriously way nervous right before changes like I thought I was gonna faint. And it didn’t help that I had a fever of almost 100 like all yesterday...we didn’t leave the house after the zone meeting I was so sick. I'm pretty sure it was a combination of everything, being dehydrated, sunburnt, and everyone was saying that a virus is going around. I had a headache and my body hurt and my nose was all stuffed up too...as usual and I was coughing and had a sneezing attack. So after trying to sleep for like an hour, I woke up with a fever again and the other sisters helped me get cooled down. They put a bunch of cold pieces of cloth on all the hot spots basically but like 30 minutes later my fever hadn’t gone down and I was getting freaked out.

So during all this the sisters took a picture and cut a moustache out of a t- shirt of Hermana V. and stuck it on me haha. And as I was laying there suffering I was like, "My family is on a stinkin’ cruise and I'm laying here burning in my own skin!" Not to mention our dueño was still trying to kick us out that very day and the next day was changes. Talk about stress?! But I took a ton of medicine and water and Gatorade and everything. I haven’t eaten much of anything for days but I'm doing better. But once again I've decided that being sick in the mission is straight up the worst. But there are always miracles around the corner, turns out the miracles lived in the next room, Hermana V. and Hermana B. When I started to cry Hermana V. was right there to hold me and wipe away my tears and help me out. Heavenly Father really does send angels in our lives.

So yeah I've been transferred here to the zone, P___ N___, en el area, "centro". They just opened this area the last transfer aka, lots of work. Word is they have a lot of inactives and recent converts who are going less active with an asistencia (attendance) of like 60...I've never been in a ward with an asistencia that low, so we'll see what we can do. Looks like once again, an area that needs lots of love and lots of smiles de la Hermana Despain :) P___ is like an hour bus ride, 30 in car, from S___ R___ so if we have a multizona, I’ll see S___ R___! But we have 6 missionaries in the ward so that's good and once again, we have the ZLs in our ward. Here in P___ you’ve got like everything, it’s where a lot of missionaries come to write, shop and eat and do all that stuff. So I definitely feel safer and more protected even though the area looks a little sketchy, but that’s just Honduras :) Checked out the apartment for two seconds. Oh and we live close to the church, suwheeetttt!!! But yeah the apartment has, wait for it......AIR CONDITIONING. Kill me now! And fans for each of us that are like standing fans so no more like "tilting it halfway to the ceiling so that it might hit you during the night". And we always have water, so no more hauling water every time I want to go to the stinkin’ bathroom! I still cant believe I did that for 6 months...but it was worth it. When I saw water coming out of the faucet I like screamed. We pay someone to cook but we'll see how long we do that for...Roads are dusty it’s looking like, but we'll get to know it more and more. It was time to leave Santa Rita so I'm feeling good. My mom reminded me of how S__ R__ was the saint of impossible dreams and I think that describes it perfectly. We described S__ R__ as "the paraíso" because despite ALL the desafíos (challenges), it was a great place. Sometimes it felt impossible to have people reactivated or even walk to church around the corner, but it fulfilled its name, there were dreams that were made possible...

My comp is Hermana M. from Guatemala. So by now as far as companions go I've had two from Guatemala, 2 from Nicaragua, 1 from Ecuador and 1 from Mexico :) My comp’s mom just got baptized too and has one younger brother of 20 and she's 21. She only has 2 changes left so I think I might kill her. And by kill her its just a phrase of the mission since I might stay with her until she completes her mission. So I'll probably be here at least like 3 changes, two with her and then one to show the area and 2 in my final area! Just a guess.

But my comp is pretty serious but she was Hermana B's companion and she said she's really great. I'm in the same zone as Hermana B. and Hermana O.! So fun! But I already miss Hermana V. and Hermana B. I think it will be a good change though...I'm hopeful :) Just take things slow and learn more patience and humility :) But with all the challenges that come with being with a comp who has more time than you in the mission, its nice because you get sort of a break and follow the leader. Not really my style but I'm not here to have things my way :) Otherwise I get way too comfortable and casual. And I wouldn’t learn as much!

I honestly can’t believe I only have 5 changes left in my mission...where did the time go? But to have a change of scenery and everything will be nice. As I was forced to say goodbye to so many I thought about the incredibly heart-wrenching things the mission does to a person. It’s honestly mind blowing. You don’t get to go to the area you want to, someone gets transferred, someone gets sick, someone is super far away...lots of things we can’t control, but it helps remind us that we aren’t the ones in charge. Heavenly Father is in charge and we have to put our trust in Him because we love Him. Sometimes it seems cruel that we have such incredible friendships with people that don’t live anywhere near us and don’t speak the same language and then you’re forced to say goodbye, but that’s how amazing the mission is, you become best friends with Latinas and people in your area and are forced to say goodbye, but that just strengthens my testimony of the plan Heavenly Father has for us. If we "play the cards" right, we'll see each other again someday and it will just be gloriousss :)

Love,
Hermana Despain

¡Adiós Santa Rita! Que le vaya bien... and frolicking in Ceiba

I have changes!!! So it's time to say goodbye to Santa Rita! I'm content honestly. Like I wouldn’t say I'm happy but I feel good about where I'm leaving things in the area. So maybe we didn't have any investigators in church yesterday and I only baptized one person in my 6 months here and maybe we were told she was drinking coffee again and has so many doubts all over again and just isn’t the same person and not in a good way...But I know the work I've done here and I've learned so much about relying on Heavenly Father and loving the people and seeing where they’re coming from and just being patient with them. We had like 4 less actives in church yesterday. One of which we had been visiting ever since I got here. Six months later and probably 2 or 3 visits a week, and she finally came to church with the family that had been having a ton of marital problems. In the end they were the ones that were encouraging her. That's how its supposed to be anyways, the ones that are recent converts should be involved with the members and they should be invited by the members. It's the idea of handing them off to the ward. But we're looking at the possibilities and we're thinking I could go to Roatan, Olanchito (super small chance its not even funny), La Lima or Palermo. But I'm hoping for Olanchito and Roatan. We'll find out on Wednesday in the changes meeting and if my area isn’t too far I'll write you guys once I'm there so you know!

WE WENT TO CEIBA! Wednesday we get a call from our zl and I thought he was joking when he said we needed to be in Ceiba the next morning for the training meeting because my comp is training. I can’t remember the last time I felt just so happy. I thought I would never get to go back to Ceiba and my heart was just in the clouds I was SO happy. I was literally screaming and laughing and just going crazy. So we did some citas and then left that afternoon and we cut it so close with all the times because certain busses leave at certain times obviously so it was SO stressful. But it was a good bonding experience for me and my comp. We had a lot of fun just taking it all in and breathing a big breath of that Ceiban sea air :) And seeing the mountains?! My goodness. We were out on the balcony thing the hermanas have outside their apartment and I was looking out at the city when I actually got to see all the lights go out. It was actually really cool :) It was cool to go back with someone that was born there too cuz we were both just that excited :) We stayed with the hermanas of the other zone in Ceiba so that neat to see the other side, but after the meeting we ran to go see a few investigators and I went to see Natividad!!! I almost cried when I saw him sleeping there in his chair outside his house with his Bible and his gospel principles manual in his lap. He was so happy and we took a video and pictures :) Hermana Urresta got to go to the meeting so he let me know that she had stopped by to visit him. It was heartbreaking to hear him tell us how the hermanas that are there now, "just aren’t the same". But even though that may be the case, he is still going strong. He has a calling and goes on visits and goes to church and reads his manuals and everything. He showed me the card I had written him when I left Ceiba and he had kept it in his manual. It was the cutest thing! It just made me feel so good to see how he's doing so well. Those are the times when it's like, "Ok, if I don’t baptize anyone else the rest of my mission I'll accept it and feel good about this one man that we helped put an end to his drinking and sadness and crazy sailor life and showed him a better life". It was so so so hard to leave Ceiba again, but it felt better to know I had gone back :) Even though we were so stressed on the way there and on the way back with the traveling...even though we had to pop a ton of ibuprofen because of headaches...even though we to live on practically no food since we were paying so much in travel...even though we had to stand up in the huge bus for more than 2 hours, it was so worth it! It was a quick trip honestly but to be walking back in my area was the coolest feeling. I loved it :) Loved it, loved it :) It was a huge surprise and such a huge blessing.

I got sick this week, actually 3 out of the 4 in the house were sick. Not fun. We're not throwing up but we all have different symptoms, mostly cold stuff so thats been a mess. And our dueno wants us to move and we're stressing with cambios and stuff but Hermana Villegas (my angel) helped me pack my bags last night so that was a huge help!!! I've also had random sun spots show up on my hands and arms. I should probably use some sun screen maybe...feeling like an old lady...They should make a lotion you use to lose weight. Just apply and lose it! Wohoo! Sounds good to me!

You all will be happy to know we had our own little July 4th celebration after we got back to the house! We bought little cohetes (fireworks) and shot them off in the street. It was fun cuz two little neighbor boys heard us and came over and we all had fun running away after settting them off. So even in Honduras, you can celebrate July 4th :) I honestly miss America so much, I miss the feeling of safety and freedom. I miss knowing that if something happens, I can trust the police, I know they aren’t drug traffickers or anything like that but that they’re there to help and that they really do offer protection. Let's hear it for Merica ;)

We saw a man being taken away by the national police this week. We were headed back to the main road from Calle Ocho when we saw the police and I was like "Oh, the police! La la la la..." And then saw a bunch of people that started to watch and we sort of stopped and realized they were putting an older man into the back of the truck. It was sort of awkward but we asked someone if we could pass by and they said we could so there were two innocent sister missionaries eating little quequitos on a cloudy afternoon, walking by a man that was being taken to jail by the national police because he was a drunk and sold marijuana...we really do preach in hostile venues if ya know what I mean...We found out why he was being taken away since we stopped to talk to an old man a little ways away. Gotta find out the chambre ;) Don’t worry, we invited him to church!

I brought my gospel art book out with me a few times the last week and it was really helpful. Too bad I totally feel like Elder Calhoun in The Best Two Years! During one cita I was literally using the pictures for like every other sentence my comp was saying. It was pretty hilarious and I actually started laughing but we still had the Spirit with us ;) The pictures are really useful here though because it helps the people pay attention and understand.

I read Cinderella to the Garcia family when we went to visit them way up there at the top of Pueblo Nuevo last week. We were setting up the John Tanner video when I saw it sitting there and the family was like "Yeah, but it's in English..." So I started to translate it and it was the cutest thing to see everyone sort of stop and listen. The mom, the dad, the three adult daughters. It was really cute :) And a really good Spanish exercise :)

I feel good about where I'm leaving Santa Rita because we have a new ward mission leader that might help everyone get more and more excited for the obra misional and now we're consistently having noches de hermanamiento (Friendship Night) on Fridays and futbol on Wednesdays! It's great because every week more and more people are coming! We share a little spiritual thought or watch a video and then we play a game! We played fruit basket this week after watching the John Tanner video and it was a huge success cuz all the parents could learn a lot from the video and the kids had a ton of fun with the game afterwards. The first week we had 3 people come, not including the missionaries, and this past week we had 30!

The old lady Dolores, who is baptized Catholic but goes to the Adventista on Saturdays and sometimes the Mormon church on Sundays when she's invited? She gave me a package of mustard seeds when I asked about them and she was like "keep it!" So I gave one to Axel, one of our jovenes that has such a sweet, sweet heart when we were talking about faith. My comp gave him a kleenex he could keep it in. It was neat to share it with him and leave him something physical he could keep, not just memories of when the hermanas came to visit him.

I loved studying the timeline in the February Liahona! Did you guys see that?! It was crazy! My mind was blown, more like cleared up as I realized who was who, who was the dad of who. I don’t think I had ever realized or put it together that the same man that was asked to sacrifice his child, had had the same thing happen to him earlier in his life. As I was reading it and studying it, it was interesting to see how they were all really tested for their obedience but they were rewarded después. Makes me think of the marshmallow Mormon Message. Pretty sure we all want our two marshmallows instead of just one...I also finally realized what it means when it says "that portion" in Doctrine and Covenants 84:85. I guess I always thought "portion" meant something different. Too bad it doesn’t and it’s totally right because some people don’t need long lessons and lots of soul searching questions, they just need their portion.

The Elders had a baptism a few weeks back and I got to play the piano for it so I was shoved in the corner near the baptismal font. But it ended up being really cool because I got to see Carlos's face when he came up out of the water. Like seconds after. It sounds SO weird but I felt like a mom that saw her kid for the first time. Because we always say that baptism is like being born again. Or having a fresh start. Ok yeah it sounds so weird but it was cool to see his huge smile after coming out of the water :) Priceless.

I've started keeping a miracle book. I write little miracles or the blessings we see throughout the day. It would have been nice to start it at the beginning of my mission but better late than never! :)

Con Todo Mi Amor,
Hermana Despain

"Will you be baptized...?...¿A qué hora?"

We had a pretty typical week here with a few muertos and people that don't believe in God and buying bread from a Garífuna! So yeah it was a pretty exciting week!

But yes we bought bread from a Garífuna one day this week! They are usually from Tela, they have super super dark colored skin and really good people, but check out what their language sounds like, it’s nuts. Keep in mind I had to listen to that language being shouted one night from about 6 to 10 one time on the way back to Ceiba from San Pedro....but when we saw the lady with the big tub balanced on her head we literally started running to her. The bread they make is so good. they usually sell pan de coco or pan dulce or pan de guineo. I bought pan de guineo :) So good!

But like the title says, for the first time we had people respond to the baptismal challenge like that, we asked "Will you follow the example of Jesus Christ and be baptized for someone holding that priesthood?" and usually what follows is..."Bueno es que no siento preparada...ya me fui bautisada..." or something to that effect. But! twice this week we had people ask us, "......a que hora?" and even though both of their baptismal dates fell because they didn’t come to church when we called and passed by for them early Sunday morning, it makes me think, we should be more like that. Instead of making excuses and feeling inadequate, instead say "Ok!...or what time...or what more can I do?" I also thought about the law of consecration this week as we were watching the John Tanner video with a family. We thought they hadn’t gotten much out of it since they live up in the hills and they are very quiet and they don’t typically respond very much. But! the dad responded to our questions about what they understood and he explained everything so well. I was so impressed! People are always surprising us! That’s what I love about the mission. Everything is so similar, the same every day and then BAM! someone surprises you and sometimes you can even surprise yourself :) But we really should give everything we have, but most importantly our time to the Lord because he gives us literally everything.

For the first time in my mission I talked to someone that doesn’t believe in God. Whenever we choose to start out a lesson asking people if they believe in God they’re always like "Claro que si" because usually everyone does...and we've gotten pretty used to that here too. But we met with a joven who's name is David who is 16. Who’s a really sweet, shy sort of timid kid and we were talking with him just trying to get him to be calm when we were asking him a few things and he was like getting really nervous and literally shaking and my heart just went out to him! I was like "Poor guy, what’s going on?" as we went on he was like "Well, it’s a little complicated...es que....I don’t believe in God..." and it was just like" oh right.....wait, what? really?" I felt like I was in an Asian mission or something. It was like "Uh, haven’t experienced this in the mission before..." and its like "how do you teach God is our loving Heavenly Father if they don’t know and understand that Heavenly Father lives and loves us? So that was really good practice and lots of depending on the Spirit. But really I just wanted to hug him and be like "It’s all going to be ok, Heavenly Father lives and he’s your father and he loves you and wants you to be so so happy" But we had to try the hardest we could to transmit all that through our words and the Spirit. And I was just praying that my companion would be patient and loving through the cita. I was so grateful for his complete honesty though. It was really special. He didn’t do a lot of talking but we expressed to him the evidence that we do have and how we know that God does live. It just helped me be grateful for the knowledge I do have that God lives. Even as a missionary I’ve realized that sometimes it’s hard to feel the love He has. It’s like you can see it everywhere but sometimes I really do just ask myself, does He really love me? But a better question would be, do I love Him?

I've noticed that the stars of Santa Rita are just gorgeous. Granted they’re the same stars everyone sees around the world pretty much but here we are so close to the mountains that the nights that I look up after a long days of sweaty, dusty work, I just stop and my jaw drops and I’m just like " Hermana! look at the stars!" God exists. He is there. He loves us. This week I got a little freaked out and wondered if I really have learned what I need to here on the mission even though I still have time...but I was talking to a sister and I was like if I haven’t learned anything....I've at least learned to put God first. Then I had sort of a palm to the face moment and I was like "OH.....if we put Him first, everything else makes sense and we want to be obedient, we want to be happy, we want to try harder and we want to live the gospel". So maybe that is the most important lesson I can learn on a mission, even if I don’t happen to learn all the hard core doctrine I possibly can, I still have the rest of my life to still learn it and apply it...but if we put God first, everything else falls into place.

We were walking to visit a member yesterday in Pueblo Nuevo when we heard these shots and usually they’re cohetes but I asked my comp if they were disparos (gun shots) and she was like "nah, cohetes..." Yeah, turns out like ten minutes later of sharing a Mormon Message with this member her grandkid comes in the door and whispers something to her and she cries out "¿Qué?!" Turns out I was right and the sounds we heard were gun shots and that a drug lord had been shot 8 times around the corner from where we were walking and we put two and two together and figured that the truck that had the people in it that had shot the man, had driven past us....so just little bit of a heart attack for us this week. But within hours everyone in Santa Rita found out, from our area into the other areas and the story was actually always the same. But just pray for our safety here in Honduras like I pray for your safety too! I love hearing people in our lessons pray for the families of the missionaries. It is the sweetest thing, so not only are we praying for you all, the Hondurans are too :) The church is true, the Lord loves his missionaries and we are blessed and watched over. Have a fabulous week and to all the missionaries - Work your heart out!  :)

Con amor,

Hermana Despain