This week we saw lots of miracles. Proof that the miracles don’t stop at the end of our mission! J_______ got baptized Sunday after church! I felt like I was in the movieThe Best Two Years, being able to have a baptism right before I leave.
How do you sum up a year and a half of the best experiences for your life? Experiences that made you laugh, made you not want to leave your bed and just want to cry all day, want to kill yourself or others ;) or feel like you want to hug everyone in the world cuz something great happened. It’s been a year and a half of life changing experiences in a third world country preaching the gospel to every type of person. The exciting thing is though, that there is life after the mission and more life changing experiences that will come. I just have to keep telling myself that I’ve done my work and that the Lord is happy with my work. It’s been a long road...but I’m happy with what I’ve done. Now it’s time to pass on the torch, pass on the baton, pass on the placa :) Or maybe just keep the placa in a special place and work to be a strong member :)
Honestly no hay palabras para describir mi tiempo en la misión...todo lo que pasó... (there aren't words to describe my time on the mission and all that's happened). I feel so grateful, to have been given the opportunity to serve here in Honduras. From the moment I saw "San Pedro Sula Honduras" on my call, I felt it in my heart, that that’s where I needed to serve. Now a year and a half later, I can ask myself, "Ok, what have I done with my time? Did I give it my all?" The one thing I DO know is that I didn’t do it alone. Knowing my weaknesses, I know I didn’t do it alone...Through all of it, Heavenly Father was protecting me and the Holy Ghost was guiding me. Honestly I’m kind of at a loss for words here, so thank goodness I’ve written home about my experiences for the past year and a half! I just know the church is true. I know why now, not just because it’s God’s kingdom here on earth, but the real why of why it’s the only true church. How it is that Jesus Christ established it, what happened afterwards and how it was Restored and why. It’s all so perfect. That’s what gives me the most peace I think, being able to serve a mission and know I’m not just doing something that other people find respectable, but I served a mission for the true church and I know that Heavenly Father is proud of me. We always had people telling us, "Yo les admiro, caminando bajo este gran sol, todo el día, trayendo la buena palabra a las personas". (I admire you all for waking under this intense sun, all day, bringing the good word to others). It’s true, we didn’t spread apostasy, we spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. It’s just amazing that Heavenly Father puts His trust in jóvenes (young people) like us :) It’s the Lord’s work and He could
very well do it Himself, but he trusts us enough to spread the gospel
and we learn so much along the way.
I was far from perfect during my mission. I had lots of times where I fell short, where I messed up, but there were plenty of times where I got back on the horse or back on my feet and that’s the important thing. I don’t know quite what to expect when I get back, but that’s how I felt when I put on my first name tag and stepped out of the airport into the hot, humid, Honduran air. I faced the unexpected and I’ll do it again.
Really, I never thought I would say it, but I’ll miss this crazy country. Reading my journals from my first months, I was counting down the days and the months...It’s true, it’s a dangerous, hot country with lots of poverty and corruption, but I have been so blessed to have been able to meet so many of Heavenly Father’s children that I never would have met if I hadn’t decided to serve. I'll miss the pulpería owners we always wave to as we pass by, the crazy lady that yells "Viva Trujillo" at all hours of the day throughout Centro, waking up and doing the same Jazzercize routine for the 30th time that month, eating a baleada made by a member, eating pollo con tajadas at the same pulpería, passing by for that inactive for the 4th time that month, reading the same page of Preach My Gospel...or buying a banana for 2 lmps from the guy on the corner, or the feeling of seeing someone get baptized...I’ll miss so much of it. There’s nothing like being with your Honduran family, but there’s nothing like being with your first family :)
I’ve learned a lot about myself and other people, how the church works, how the Lord works and how Heavenly Father’s love works...There are experiences you can’t get back, but they prepare you for the future and that’s exactly where I’m going! Forward. I love a song from a year of EFY called, "The Girl I Am". There’s a part that says, "I don’t need to rush, or wait for my future, He knows I’m strong enough, and He has a plan, for the girl I am.." Heavenly Father is always working with progression. We have to keep moving forward and trust in His timing. And right now, I need to let this full time work go...but I'll never stop being a daughter of God and a member of the true church. I never thought I'd be a sister missionary. Never. ¡Jamás! But I'm so, eternally grateful that I was able to serve a mission. It was never easy, but it was always worth it. Ether 12:4 is a scripture I’ve come to love recently, it says,
"Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God."
Maybe for me right now, there seems to be no better world, than that of a full time missionary, but I know everything will be more than okay. Hopefully at the end of all of this, the Lord can tell me, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant". Good job Hermana Despain. Good job Elena...but the work isn’t finished yet. The mission isn’t quite accomplished, not until I can live with Heavenly Father again. That’s when I'll be able to say, "Mission accomplished!!". Thanks to everyone who ever sent me an e-mail, a card, a letter, a package, a picture, or even just prayed for me. I wouldn’t have survived without them. I hope and pray that I've made a difference here in Honduras and that I'll keep making a difference. I love Heavenly Father. I've learned to put Him first and trust Him. So now it’s time to trust Him even more, that there’s a better world, one where we get to live with Him again and this is all a part of life, preparing for that better world :)
Cuidese mucho Honduras, dejaré mi corazon aquí.
And for the last time...
Con todo mi amor,
Hermana Despain
