Welcome to Honduras, where the chickens know how to cross the road better than the people...

But really though I've watched a hen cross the road with her 6 chicks and they do it in such an orderly, quick fashion, it's insane. And they don’t just randomly cross however or wherever they want, they cross the one, then cross the other...they don’t just run out in a diagonal way! It's crazy! But of course I would notice that and decide to point that out in my email home :)

So this week was pretty good, with changes and all. Me and U. are just so happy to be together still. We still have some times where we argue a bit or get a little heated with each other but we know each other really well and can read the other well enough to where we pretty much have companionship inventory like every 10 minutes haha. One time she showed me a little piece of paper that came in a box of  tissues or something she had and it said in Spanish, "This isn’t silence, this is talking without words" and that is so us because we like never talk in the morning but we communicate so well with our eyes and our actions and it just works! It's pretty cool!

There’s a continuing joke between a lot of missionaries here I’ve noticed is that we all want a "p- noche" cuz we have p day's but they’re always like "p-noche!" It's super random but it's always pretty funny cuz it's such a joke...a p-noche would never happen in a million years haha.

So something that I’ve noticed is that we hear more and more about danger and bad things happening to people in different parts of our area but we never, ever see it happen. Up in Lomas there is a road where at any time of the day, literally anytime of the day, people get robbed or stuff like that but we never see it happen. So it’s pretty sketchy because we pass that road at random times of the day too but it’s like we have this shield of protection and I’m not surprised :) Like I’ve said from the beginning, Heavenly Father loves his missionaries and is protecting them :) We are still always super cautious though. The other day we were walking past a car shop where I think all of the robberies start from and this guy was like "Hey, podemos preguntar algo a ustedes?" or something like that but I couldn’t understand him and I just kept walking but U. was like "ya regresamos" just to like calm them down but that always creeps me out a bit. Nothing happened but yeah we are usually with members when we're up there. And to think that isn’t even The sketchiest of our area....yay for Honduras ;)

Saturday afternoon we went to go see if we could reschedule a dinner cita with a member and she said that would be fine but then was like "now you all can help me, can you teach the lesson tomorrow in Relief Society?" Funny that I had just been thinking about how stressful that would be to be one of those missionaries that is either like a Young Men’s president or has to teach the Gospel Principles class every Sunday. But we stayed up super late preparing the lesson and it was incredible! Normally we just read the manual and it’s so boring, but we had music, and groups and discussions and an object lesson with a cookie of course and a Mormon Message! It was so great and I loved teaching! It was worth the lack of sleep. It was the last lesson in the Lorenzo Snow manual and we tied it to The Mormon Message of Henry B Eyring about choosing today or doing today what you want to put off till tomorrow...I loved getting the chance to teach :)

I forgot to tell you guys that the ATM here in the gas station took my rent money like two days after changes last change. It was horrible! It scared me so bad but luckily A. and N. were there with us and we called The Elder that is in charge of finances and he got it cleared up. But how about that for a nice little "Welcome to Honduras where The ATMs take rent money from innocent little sister missionaries".

When we visited the family that hadn’t been visited in like years, the mom mentioned that sometimes she'll tell her kids to smile like Hermana Despain is always smiling :) That was so so sweet to hear because I think for a few weeks there things were really hard and disappointing. So to hear her say that warmed my heart and it was like "Hey, if I don’t baptize a single person, at least my smile is impacting a family". Then she stood up for me when I struggled to say like two words in a scripture we shared with the family. The little twins were giggling but the mom cracked down on them and was like "Hey, she's learning Spanish just like you’re learning English. Be nice!" Hermana U. commented on that later when we were together and that just sort of emphasized the fact that there really are members that care here and that will stand up for you...even when someone else in the ward thinks its ok to tell me to my face that I’m fat...yeah more about that later!


So N. and D. got married this Friday! It was so fun to see them drive past our apartment on their motorcycle and then circle back and to see them talk and interact as they talked to us about how it went and how they wished we were there to jokingly say we didn’t think the marriage should continue since we were always telling them they needed to get married...they just looked more mature with their rings, like they really are committed to this thing. And then at their little party it was fun to see them together, and to awkwardly have their kid there...but it was good and lots of people came to celebrate. But then it was like everything in the world was horrible when he didn’t come to church on Sunday. At all. He didn’t come to any meetings and we were completely heartbroken because the bishop doesn’t want us to baptize him unless he comes to all three hours of church three times. So now he can’t get baptized until the 4th of January. We're pretty sure he doesn’t have a testimony of the church and he isn’t reading the Book of Mormon no matter what we do. It’s literally like pulling teeth with him. He's like 24 but has the mind and attitude of a 7 year old. He frustrates us to no end sometimes but we just have to keep having faith that he will come through and read the Book of Mormon and do his part to gain a testimony.

We were at the party for the wedding of N. and D. for a little bit and we were talking with “X” before everyone showed up an hour late, of course and he ended up saying I was fat. That’s always really nice to have people tell my comp that she looks skinnier and either they don’t say anything to me, or they’re like “X” and tell me I’m getting fat and I’m like "hahahhahahah Yeah, it’s not so funny! Not my fault everything is literally fried in lard. Sometimes idk how I do it because I’m pretty critical of myself and I’m pretty weak when it comes to what I eat and everything, so it’s hard. Sometimes I’m convinced I won’t be able to take it, but somehow I do. I’ve just learned to not listen to them and remember that Heavenly Father looks on the heart (1 Sam 16:7)  and to keep running and limiting what I eat as much as I can. It’s hard and I wish I didn’t have to worry about it, but everything will turn out just fine. It isn’t impossible :)

I realized a few weeks ago why The Book of Mormon was written on plates...like I knew they were written so they would survive age and stuff like that, but then I was like "duh they were written on plates, so no one could change them like they did the Bible! and that’s why The Book of Mormon is The Word of God, because it's perfect!" I love those aha! moments on the mission :)

We saw J. - one of our investigators in the store today, that was fun! He's 38 and used to play soccer for El Salvador and has the body of like a 24 year old. It's incredible, he stayed in super good shape! He's an evangelico and I can’t remember if I’ve talked about him in the past but I’ve learned to really have a great love for him. It's not like a love I have for my family, it’s different. It's like the "through the eyes of the Savior" kind of love. I just want the best for him and it’s sad to see people who think they've found what they're looking for when you really just want to be like, look! It’s right here! We're giving you the way to Salvation on a silver platter! But people have their agency and I have to keep reminding myself of that. He really is great but he said he would come to church this past Sunday and never actually did and went to his other church. He knows a ton about the Bible and is a good person but he really is lost. But maybe we're just planting a seed...

So I got the random idea this week to write a Honduran version of The Cremation of Sam McGee poem so it starts with "There are strange things done under The Honduran sun, by the men who traffic the drugs, the Gonzalo trails have their secret tales of deceit and murder and blood, The Ceiban lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see...." and yeah I didn’t get very far, but we'll see what happens :) When I was going through the amazing Christmas letters from family that I got in my package, I wanted to read through the lyrics of “Gone to Carolina” but I just couldn’t, within 3 seconds, I was almost crying. so never think that I don’t miss home or family or North Carolina, because obviously I miss it more than I even know.

Apparently Olanchito has a gym so me and B. decided that we want that to be our last area so that right before we go home we can work out a ton and get back into shape! Sounds good to me ;)

J. B. is a less active member who is pretty much the pastor of his church and he is super lost. It’s really sad. But we talked with him for like an hour and we brought two members that are his neighbors and they are like 11 and 12. They are just super sweet and as we were talking he started to criticize their prayers and I could just feel my adrenalin running and I wanted to punch him, those boys felt like my boys and I was getting so protective of them. He was basically saying they didn’t know how to pray and that in his church, they teach them how to pray and really talk to Heavenly Father like he is our Father, but I was just like "yeah, so do we...but we maintain the respect God deserves during our prayers". It was so awful I was just praying my heart out that the boys weren’t paying attention and that they didn’t hear him...it just broke my heart. And then he decided to try and tell us that we weren’t adequately prepared to preach the gospel for no reason at all after hearing us describe what we did to put our papers in to serve a mission. Oh my word y'all I about lost it. but of course I didn’t lose it and instead I turned that fury into the power of my testimony right? And I just bore my testimony like no other and I was just like "I don’t know everything, but I know that with my testimony and with the help of Heavenly Father, that is all I need to preach this gospel". I can’t remember everything but I still remember how I felt bearing my testimony to him. Those are probably my favorite times in the mission when people try and argue with us and I feel my body just start to almost shake with frustration and anger and all I can do is testify because I obviously can’t punch these people in the face like I want to sometimes. But they’re my favorite times because that is when the spirit is most strong. After that lesson Hermana U. hugged me and told me she felt the spirit really, really strong and that meant so much to me because she doesn’t really praise a lot or anything so to hear that meant so much and it reminded me that I might actually be doing something as a missionary here.

We were desperate for lessons with members so we brought a girl from a really good family but it was a total mistake. We went to go visit J. and his wife and after watching "Together Forever" a church video from the 80s or something -  they really enjoyed it though and we tied it to the temple. J.’s wife offered us some gingerbread that she sells and asked if we drink coffee. Then we launched  into talking about the Word of Wisdom obviously and she just freaked out and was like "you don’t drink coffee, but everything on this earth is here for us, why don’t you drink it, you'll be intoxicated if you smell it, watch out..." Honestly by the end of all of it she was talking and acting like a 12 year old. It was really sad. It’s sad to realized sometimes that the 20 and 21 year old are the adults in the situation compared to the 22 and 38 year old. But what didn’t help was when we talked about tea and the member we brought was like "I drink tea." And she kept touching me and trying to talk to me and starting acting like she was conducting a song. And in another cita she didn’t know what to say when we asked if she could bear her testimony about the scriptures. But as usual I just bore my testimony about The Word of Wisdom and did the best I could when I realized everything was just going downhill. Luckily U. was on the same page after we left and dropped the member off at her house. I was super frustrated afterwards but we headed up to Lomas and U. needed to use the bathroom so we stopped at the Bishop’s house and as I was waiting for her, their brand new kitty squeezed under the door and my heart just melted. I know I’m not supposed to touch the animals here........but I couldn’t resist!!! My heart had just been pulverized by this horrible lesson but then this little kitty just warmed it up and put all the little pieces together again. I picked it up and just held it close and pet it and practically cried it was so cute. It fit in one hand it was so tiny. So that little kitty was proof to me that God sends little angels into our lives to heal our hearts after things don’t go the way we plan :)

A few weeks ago after emailing, we bought baleadas from a lady and as we were waiting for them, someone’s ring tone went off and I started dancing and the lady we bought the baleadas from starting laughing. idk why but it made me really happy to realize I could make someone who doesn’t even speak my language laugh :) and then as we were walking to our cita, there we were eating baleadas in the traffic of La ceiba in Honduras...how  many missionaries get to say that?! It was just neat and I had one of those "I better take this in now, cuz these moments don’t come too often" :) I love this work. The people drive me nuts and make me more frustrated than I’ve ever been, but I love the work. It’s hard but it’s always worth it and it isn’t impossible with the Lord's help.

I can’t believe I get to call home next week, I can’t wait :) It’s been too long, I thought the day would never come :) It really will be the best Christmas present :)

Love, Hermana Despain