The bus ride here was too fast and I was trying to soak everything up and enjoy it the best I could but how do you smile when all you want to do is cry and go back to your area? I was convinced we should just head for hills, or in our case, Pico Bonito. Haha I was so ready to run away, not even joking. Packing was an awful mess. I have too much stuff. I only got about an hour of sleep so that probably doesn’t help with the stress at all. The changes meeting was really good but everything felt so unreal. My two comps really only talk to each other and kind of ignore me so that’s definitely fun.
So this area is pretty much like a pueblo with dirt roads and little motor taxis that are actually really cute but we about fell over when we loaded all our luggage onto them. We walked for idk how many blocks with our luggage. And it was raining and I had no idea what we were doing or where we were going. I wanted to die! It was just like, ok, thanks I can go back to Ceiba now...sometimes I’ve found myself thinking, how awful is a mission, that we're put in an area for sometimes just 6 weeks at a time to give our whole hearts to people and our zones and then de repente you're transferred and needed elsewhere and you have your heart ripped out. Really I just feel like crying. I'm trying to do things like not think about things too much, unpack all the way, and just smile but I'm scared to go to sleep tonight and wake up and not see my Ceiban mountains.
And on top of all of this, we got totally attacked by mosquitosin La Vascula. They ripped our legs apart within like 10 minutes. The bites got infected and now I’ve got this disgustingly hideous like bubble of junk on my ankle and my legs are just a mess. I talked to Hermana Klein though so I'm thinking everything will be ok once I get the medication she suggested for me. Freaks me out though.
I'll be okay though, this will pass. I just hate feeling so sad. These things make us stronger though, yeah? I just hate the trial part. I just want to dream that I'm back in Ceiba with the Zona Miramar and never wake up.
But tomorrow we're headed for San Pedro again, wohoo...we're going to the conference with the two missions! That should actually be really cool, but man I'm having a tough time. Prayers would be more than appreciated. Thank you for your love and support. I love you guys. The church is true and somehow Heavenly Father trusts me with this responsibility. It's all so intimidating though, learning new names, new faces, new problems, new areas, new companions. My poor heart has just been taking a beating I feel like, but I'll be all right :) All this shall be for my good right?
love,
Hermana Despain
