Sometimes you just need to take a break from companionship study and go out back and bajar some mangos. We have a lemon tree, an avocado tree, a banana tree, and a ton of mango trees in our backyard. It's pretty neat. So we had fun taking pictures, laughing and dodging the dropping mangos. I was so, so sad to not be at the wedding of my brother and my new sister in law, but I am so happy for them. It sounds like it went perfect of course and I just want to say congratulations! I wish with everything I've got that I could have been there, but I know they'll be happy for eternity R. left again for Tocoa. I was so sad to hear that he was leaving. I just looked into his eyes and it was like "he's leaving again..." each time it's like Satan is pulling him away, distracting him from what he knows is right just because of his work. But we all ended up talking about how Olanchito and Tocoa and he told us how pretty it is out there. I really, really hope I get to serve there, it sounds just perfect. His dad was cooking when we came up to the house and we asked him what he was making...turns out he was making "mangos dulces" or something. Basically he was just boiling the sugar blocks they create from the sugar cane they burn here and put some mangos maduros in. It was really fun to eat, quite the experience though cuz the mango gets all stuck in your teeth and the whole time I was trying to sort of scoot the 6 ants I found to the side. But it's just sort of what you do. R. should be back though in a few days so we'll keep up with him. There's been a lot of dengue going around lately so that's a little scary. I also keep my bug spray with me though so lets hope I don't get dengue and die.When we were visiting with the two Rolando's this week, there were a lot of falling mangos...since they're starting to ripen, they start to fall randomly and the tree was right above us! So we'd be sitting there teaching when randomly we'd just hear one hit the tin roof of the house near us and we'd all duck and it'd just be like "I'm trying to feel the Spirit here!" So we can now add "falling mangos" to the list of things Satan uses to distract and interrupt lessons... I saw a tarantula for the first time this week! It was just chillin' there on the church wall outside before we went in for correlation! I was so freaked out cuz I've only ever seen those in zoos....We saw a snake in the street that night too. Super tiny and black though. There have been a few dead dogs lately so that's always fun to walk past or drive past in a moto. Ew.I went on divisions yesterday with a member from the ward. It was a really positive experience and I was able to focus more on the investigator and not be so stressed about what exactly we were teaching or how we were teaching and I didn't feel so judged. The member did a great job and she was such a hard worker. Again, it was a really positive experience. We had correlation the other night and it was really good again. It has really improved even though according to the others, it was really bad. It's been interesting to see how my view has changed with a lot of things. On Sunday I was sitting up behind the keyboard and realized how much reverence there was and I was so impressed with everyone. So I think I've learned some tolerance...and just an acceptance of how things are but I'm still trying to keep that view of how things can be so that we don't settle. But yeah there I was, getting along with my ward mission leader and laughing and joking with him and he's like "esta hermana, me calle bien..." never thought he would say that. Just goes to show that in 4 months you can actually come to get along with someone who bugged you at first. My comp walked away super angry from the correlation and little Hermana Despain was just smiling like "it's whatever, you'll learn what Santa Rita is like...just have patience little grasshopper..." I'm learning a lot of patience. I was watching a few Mormon Messages and I really liked the one "Rescued by Christ"
The part that stood out to me was when he says "a lot of people wanted to put him down, but I wouldn't, because when I was a bit of an idiot, nobody put me down..." As a missionary or any person really, you can apply it in a ton of ways. As a missionary, we visit people and visit them and invite them but they still have their agency. It's like we're Christ in that aspect, if that's not too blasphemous or llena de apostasía. We're like Christ because all we do is invite. We give ourselves to these people and we invite them to share in the happiness we have and are hopefully experiencing. We sometimes do have to let people go for a time, but because they're people with souls and hearts, we never really put them down. We give them the opportunity and let them choose. But it's like us, we're given the choice to obey and be happy, but we suffer the consequences or we enjoy the blessings. Christ will never "put us down" so we should never put ourselves down either...physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually. We have to lift ourselves up. We're given challenges to strengthen us and test us.
At the end of the video it says "There are feet to steady, hands to grasp,
minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save. Are we doing all we
should?" And that's from President Monson. It's true. We need to help other people,
but we also need to help ourselves along the way. Towards the end of our lessons, we'll be like "¿Cuáles preguntas tiene?, ¿comentarios? ¿dudas?" and normally the response is the same...but I think I can count on my hand how many times people have sincerely thanked us for visiting them. It happened with the two Rolando's and R. They thank you and you just know they really mean it. Normally when we ask people if there is anything we can do for them (usually we mean service) they say "solo, siguen visitándome..." and sometimes that frustrates me because I get the sense they just want to lay back in their hammock and receive what the "palabra de Dios" has for them that day instead putting down the baleada, getting out of the hammock and going to church. But then you have to look at them like nursery kids, or the bruised, hurt, abused adult that they are.
It's interesting to look into people's eyes and try and imagine their past,
where they've come from and how they've gotten to the point in their lives that
they're at. Then you're able to connect with them a bit more and realize that
you're just like them, you're imperfect and you need just as much help as they do.
I guess that's why I like working with less actives and inactives so much, even if
it drives me nuts sometimes...you just connect with them and try to do what you can
for them as the child of God that they are. I also love when they say that they
know that God has placed us in their path for a reason as cliche as it is,
cuz you really start to believe it. After watching so many Mormon Messages and especially "What Matters Most" and the video "Gracias a Él/Because of Him" about the Savior, I've really come to
love the little things in my mission, throughout my day...the rocks I trip on, the dust storms that I'll probably never experience again, the dirt I think is a tan line on my feet, the random trickle of water down a hill, or the six girls in white tops that came running towards me one afternoon as we were walking back down Calle Ocho...(like in the Gracias a El video where all the kids are running). I saw them all playing together and we really don't know them that well but they helped us find a house once. They all turned and just started running for us and I realized they were only running for me and they just ran and ran and ran and all hugged me. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. They're the things I wish I could record. The things I wish I could watch in slow motion over and over again...six little Honduran girls running and laughing to hug a gringa just because... with the dust kicked up in the air behind them and the palm trees
swaying in the warm dusking evening as the sun is setting behind them. So we can submit a new video entitled "What Matters Most on a Mission..." where we record the real smiles and tears of random strangers...the women with their backs aching from making and selling tortillas all day, the men with real cowboy hats sweating under the hot Honduran sun, the poor kids in dirty, ragged clothes that go galloping off on a horse past me...and six little girls all in white running towards me. Love, Hermana Despain
